You see, I struggled with depression, anxiety and low self-esteem ever since I was a child. I remember always feeling discouraged, criticized, or just plain looked over by my family, friends, hell- even the neighbors (my English teachers might have been the only ones who ever saw and appreciated me- thank you Mrs. Scott, Mr. Harris and Mrs. Meisel!)
But sadly, I felt like I could NEVER please my parents growing up and that they never had a kind word to say to me. I could do 100 things, 99 of them perfectly, and it seemed as if my parents would always choose to focus on and mock me for that 1 thing I didn’t do right.
Maybe I didn’t smile enough during my recitals, or I misspelled a word in my essay that I STILL got an A on? Maybe my best friend was the social butterfly and it was a stark contrast to my introverted “shy girl” personality, or my hips were wider than my friends once we went through puberty, or I had a mole under my nose that they thought looked like a booger? Or you know, any number of criticisms. And trust me, there were MANY.
Either way, I always felt like I was ugly, worthless, and unlovable because of their critical words toward me. And whether they ever were aware of what they did or consciously meant to hurt me or not- it’s irrelevant. It DID hurt me. And sadly, some of their words still haunt me as an adult to this day.
But now, thank God, they are so much better and I like to think that I am so much better as well. But it wasn’t without MANY years of struggling and constant effort to transform my thought-life. And I admit I don’t always succeed at this. But a major thing that HAS helped me along the way all these years have been books.
For me, it was mostly the genres of Christian Inspiration, Self-Help, and Memoir, with a little young adult fiction in my teens about girls who also battled mental health issues, low self-esteem, and had big dreams. That stuff was MY THERAPY. Cheap therapy. I loved immersing myself in the many life-affirming books and other positive messaged written arts and literary media.
In my desperate attempts to help PICK MYSELF UP and fill my mind with positive words of encouragement and validation, I would pretty much bury myself in numerous books, magazines, music, and movies with empowering, inspiring, and encouraging messages. Even as a young kid, I would spend hours analyzing messages and themes in the media I fed myself. Seeking ways to apply life-affirming messages to myself and those around me and finally find the encouragement and positivity I never felt like I received at home but so desperately needed.
And it helped a lot.
So that’s what I hope to help facilitate for others through the books and musical soundtracks that go with them that I will be releasing through this company Femmespire Media as well as my author platform www.TiffanyGrandMedia.com and the social media pages that go with them.
Because I know I am NOT the only one who has struggled in life and could use encouragement, validation, and emotional healing. I pray the works I share will help you on your journey called life like they have me. Because even if no one else has ever told you before, I am telling you NOW: You are lovable, you matter, and your experience is valid- whatever it has been.
And if you need more positive reinforcement in your life and more encouraging things to meditate on- then please pick up a good book. Even if it’s not one of the one’s I've written or will be publishing here at Femmespire Media. Feed your soul to the fullest. You are worth more than you know. Please don’t forget that!