More Than a New Year's Resolution: How to Set Goals That Stick and Finally Improve Your Life.

​           It’s that time of year again, when everyone and their mother seems to be making New Year’s resolutions or planning on ways to make themselves and their lives better. This tradition has been going on for nearly 4000 years since the ancient Babylonians wrote down what they called their New Year “resolves”: little reminders of how to live and think more peacefully among their fellow mankind.
            I think there’s something cleansing and motivational about going into a New Year. A time when the past can really feel like the past, old grievances can be let go, and inspiration is had by people to transform their lives, break bad habits, build more (hopefully healthier) habits, and ultimately get that much closer to becoming the people we always wanted to be.
            I do it every year. Some years more successfully than others. So, I know how hard it can be to accomplish said goals and transform ourselves and our lives like we dream of. But I’m getting closer and at least a little bit better every year around the sun- and so can you!
            So, here are some tips- some I’ve observed, some I’ve read and liked from others- to help you set goals that actually STICK and help you FINALLY live and build a life you can be proud of. Because as we can almost all agree, a New Year can make you feel like a New You is possible, and that hope and drive is what keeps the world progressively spinning.
 
Tip 1: Decide who you are and what you REALLY want out of life.

• At your core, deep down inside, what do you really want to see for yourself and your future? Don’t focus on the past, your mistakes or superficial things like money. If you could do and be ANYTHING in the world what would it be? Even if you never plan to go for it, I think it’s important to be honest with yourself and let yourself dream a little. As adults, I think we’ve had it programmed out of us to be “realistic” and not rock the boat too much in our lives. But I also think allowing ourselves to think and imagine for bigger is healthy and beneficial too. It gives you a chance to GROW and build your life into something- or you know, just anything.

 
Tip 2:   Think about some REALISTIC things you’d like to see happen for yourself in this next coming year.

• Maybe you want a new, better paying job, so you can finally move out of your tiny apartment? Maybe you want to finish writing that book, produce your bucket list music album, travel to Europe, start a family, pay off your debt, or go back to college so you can FINALLY have a career you don’t dread going to everyday? Whatever it is, no matter how small (even if it’s just so you can de-clutter said tiny apartment so you can finally relax and have people over without feeling embarrassed) WRITE IT DOWN and then start thinking about little ways to make it happen.

 
Tip 3: Think about the little things you can start doing TODAY to get closer to being and living as the person you want in the future.

• Should you start setting an alarm and get up an hour earlier to work on whatever creative project, cleaning task, workout, or study time you keep putting off? Hell, even just fifteen minutes earlier every day to work on something productive will be better than nothing. Because usually when we get that little dopamine rush from feeling even semi-productive it motivates us to do more.

Tip 4: Write it down.

•             Write all your goals and potential resolutions down on a piece of paper (or at least on your computer or notes app of your phone) and read it every day. Small and larger goals. Things that you can do in one day, one week, a month, 3 months, 6 months and year. Respectively. Breaking things down into smaller, less intimidating chunks makes them more realistic and feels way less overwhelming. Like, maybe you really want to lose 60 pounds this year but you work an office job where you sit all day, or you work late and don’t eat dinner until 9 o’clock everyday which you know is terrible for your metabolism. Set a smaller goal. Can you eat a snack earlier in the day so you won’t feel compelled to eat such a big dinner? Or maybe you can start walking in place while you brush your teeth and do other random tasks around the house? Most importantly, don’t be so hard on yourself and allow yourself to make SMALLER more achievable goals.  
•            Keeping with the weight-loss analogy since it seems that’s what most people seem to aim for during the New Year- do you realize if you lost just FIVE pounds a month that would give you that weight deficit of 60 pounds in one calendar year? Yeah, so don’t worry about putting too much pressure on yourself because accomplishing most goals is pretty obtainable if you don’t give up on it and have patience with yourself.

 
Tip 5: Break some old habits.

•            If you want to build new, healthier, more productive habits then you’re probably gonna have to be willing to give up (or at least modify) some bad ones. Like for me, I’m a writer trying to finish multiple books, build my entrepreneurial brand “Femmespire Media”, lose weight, and get to at LEAST an intermediate level of conversational French so I can finally live my dream of going to France and not feel like the “ignorant/rude” American. It’s a tall order I know, and one that I chip away at little by little every year. But it’s taking me waaaaay longer than it needs to, because if I’m honest with myself, I have a lot of bad habits to break. I drink too much alcohol that leaves me hung-over and groggy on my days off from my day job when I’m supposed to be hustling on my dream-life goals..and..well, honestly that’s the biggie for me in the last few years. But it could all be much easier for me to accomplish if I just cut back on my alcohol consumption like I tell other people to. Limit the number of drinks, limit the days or times I have a drink, or ideally give it up completely. I’m just being honest here.
•             What is it for you? What bad habits have you developed that have held you back for too long that you could modify or give up completely? I could make an entire book on this topic- and maybe someday I will- but for now it’s just a little food for thought. I will elaborate on this in a later post I’m sure.

 
Tip 6: Tell someone.

•            I read a bunch of posts by other people who said it’s important to let other people know of your resolutions and goals. Maybe it’s to help hold you accountable so you actually STICK TO IT for fear of being looked down on and like a failure if you DON'T do it? Maybe it’s to help you find like-minded souls so you can have a support system to help you stay motivated on the days you want to quit or feel like you can’t do it? Whatever the reason is for you, do it. Tell someone you trust (or don’t trust, if you really want that fire under your butt to keep you from giving up). Tell them your goals, what you dream, and how you hope to get there- and be willing to accept the support and encouragement because trust me, there are many days when you will need it.

 
          If you haven’t noticed by the outrageous number of people who seem to make resolutions of some kind every year, setting New Year’s resolutions and goals for your life is honestly kind of easy if you have any self-awareness at all. The problem, however, becomes MAINTAINING it and seeing it to completion when you’re tired, discouraged, the scale isn’t budging and you feel like a fool for even trying. But don’t listen to those negative voices in your head that have caused you to give up on your dreams- or worse- have convinced you not to even try to go for them at all to begin with. With a New Year- as well as every new day that you wake up for- there is a chance to BEGIN AGAIN and become a better version of yourself.
 
          So, don’t give up. Believe in yourself. Write goals down. Share them with someone who gets you. Be patient with yourself, and be OK with setting smaller, more obtainable goals. This New Year just gives you another chance to become a “new” and “better” version of you that you always imagined. Baby steps, an honest view of yourself, and a willingness to at least TRY to better yourself little by little is all it takes.
 
          New Year’s or not. You can do it, I believe in you. It’s better late than never to at least try.  

Contributed by Tiffany Grand
www.tiffanygrandmedia.com